My father came to visit us during the second year of our marriage and never visited in our home again. His excuse was that he had to travel through too many large cities to get to my home and he wasn't going to put his life in danger in any town bigger than Abilene, Texas. However when we lived a long way off, we would often go to visit at his home. Quite often, just before leaving, he would put some money in my pocket and say, "I can't come see you, but I want to help with the gas on the trip home." That's what "send them on their way" means. It would include anything they needed for their journey, food, clothing, taking care of their dirty laundry or mending anything that was torn.

We don't have the exact same set of circumstances in our world today, but that does not lessen the need of Christian hospitality. We live in a world in which people tend to be self-sufficient. We admire the spirit of independence and we often say things like "I don't want to be a bother to anybody." That's fine, but we do have a strong need for friendship. After all it was friendship that fueled the relationship between John and Gaius. In his book, The Friendship Factor, Alan Loy McGinnis said, " . . . friendship is the springboard to every other love." He also said, "People with no friends usually have a diminished capacity for sustaining any kind of love." Most of us have social acquaintances, but how many of us have deep, caring friendships? It has been sociologically demonstrated that lonely people live shorter lives than the general population.

Hospitality is a door to friendship. From time to time, it may be still be providing a roof over the head of a weary traveler. Maybe it will be inviting someone to your house for dinner. Maybe it's just two of you getting together at a restaurant. I'm not dogmatic about how you practice it, but the principle that is advocated here is essential, not only to the productive lives of people, but it is a necessary component of the Christian life.

DIOTREPHES

The second character in John's letter is Diotrephes. In verse 9, Diotrephes is described as "one who loves to be first." His behavior pattern was poor, but his behavior was actually an expression (or more precisely multiple expressions) of his attitude. Diotrephes was self-centered and self-promoting. His desire "to be first" or as the older versions say his desire to have "preeminence" drove his agenda. His approach to Christianity was 180 degrees away from the lessons that Jesus taught. When the mother of James and John asked that her sons might occupy honored positions in the kingdom, Jesus said,

You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave- Matthew 20:25-27.

We don't know if Diotrephes was an elder, a preacher or what, but we do know that he ran the church. It's not hard to understand why he would have nothing to do with John. John represented a threat to his ability to control the church. And that, to him, was unthinkable. In his warped way of thinking, his sense of worth and importance was defined by his ability to control the church. He probably even rationalized himself into thinking he was doing the right thing, that he was a staunch defender of truth, that the church needed someone with a strong hand like his. Whatever his rationale, his attitude displayed itself in the following behaviors.

• He refused to have anything to do with John.
• He gossiped maliciously about John and his associates. That means he said evil, wicked things about John. If you want to get an idea what that's like, watch the negative political commercials just prior to election time.
• He practiced guilt by association. "He refuses to welcome the brothers. He also stops those who want to do so and puts them out of the church" (10). He wasn't satisfied to vent his spleen against John, he removed anyone who liked John from the fellowship of the church.

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