Perceptions #200111

"A Minister's Confession"

by Joel Solliday

How's that for an attention grabbing title? OK, here goes. I don't have much trouble knowing what the definition of the word "is" is. But before I criticize those who do, I should look at the words I do have trouble defining.

One word that is tough for me is "spiritual." I am without excuse for this difficulty since I am a minister. But honesty demands that I admit it.

I often revise my definition of "spiritual" to fit my weaknesses and preferences. It is easy for me to view spirituality through the lens of church attendance, singing, Bible study and preaching. Such things are visible and vital to my job. It is tougher to think of spirituality in terms of prayer or tithing. Those things are more personal.

One minute, I define spirituality by the superficial evidence of religious expertise I put on display. God does not let me get away with that for long. So the next minute (as if God could be fooled), I look at spirituality in terms of freedom from sins that don't tempt me, like homosexuality, racial hostility, alcoholism, murder, rape, child abuse and drug addiction. I begin to presume that it takes a "spiritual giant" to be free of those ugly sins. Because I feel rather free of them, my definition of spirituality takes shape around my strengths and your weaknesses.

Didn't Jesus say something about a speck in your eye and a log in mine?

Conveniently, I minimize the spiritual severity of sins like impatience, lust, white lies, lateness, laziness, driving lawlessly, gossip, grudges, name-calling, quick anger, gluttony, selfishness and complaining.

God save me from my own definitions!

I bathe my weaknesses in excuses. I study extenuating circumstances. I focus on the memories of wrongs done to me (and mine) in the past. I can pound the pulpit to condemn the racists, bigots and adulterers out there but tread softly on little white lies, gossip and other private sins. It's easy to be vague about my own selfishness while analyzing the selfishness of others with a fine tooth comb!

Whatever the real definition of spiritual is, it must be something very different from hypocrisy. That makes it hard for me to define it sometimes--at least in personal terms.

Perhaps it takes a graduate of Yale Law School and an Oxford educated Rhodes Scholar President to miss the definition of the word "is," but it often takes a minister like me to miss the meaning of the word "spiritual."

Keep working on me God.

Joel's email address is: joelmark@flash.net

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